ETERNUS NO QUIES Broken
by Mooders
Summary: Self-hate, desperation, fear, affliction, secrets...the pain of being alone. Things that are difficult to handle. A dark past just looms around the corner. Losing hope & the will to live. I want to go to sleep...& forget all about it.
1. Blurred

**Broken**

_Written by: Mooders / Moody_

_**Disclaimer: **I am...not Disney. I don't own anything about Newsies. But I am just the owner of these 5 OFCs: Taylor, Haylie, Hallie, Gail & Dawn. The title is from the song "Broken" (DUH!) by Seether feat. Amy Lee._

_**Notes: **Story based on the song "Broken" by Seether feat. Amy Lee, & is a part of the soundtrack of The Punisher movie. My character, Taylor, is a cross between Paine (of Final Fantasy X-2) & Squall Leonhart (of Final Fantasy VIII). If you're wondering why my characters are influenced so much by FF characters, well, 'coz I love the FF series!

* * *

_

_A bitter smile has touched my lips_

_I'm shivering, trembling and cold_

_Somehow feeling bold._

_Confined in this hall_

_This is where I fall,_

_Hall of success is what I think_

_But disillusion kiss my feet_

_And suddenly I feel jittery_

_Lose my control_

_Devoured by great anger_

_As I walk in this hell, and stroll._

_I am deviously trapped by fate,_

_Now my heart is shouting free_

_Totally blind, _

_Can't see no hope for me..._

_My pulse can't move, I'm breathing hard_

_Exhausted, tired, forlorn, _

_Can't weep, can't sleep_

_Fists closed tightly, eyes totally shut._

_Surrounded by enigmatic blue_

_Body lay wasted, body becoming stiff_

_Heart feels so lace_

_And as time chills my spine_

_I'm succumb to stillness, unreadable_

_Blankness,_

_Tangible darkness.

* * *

_

Oh, before I forget, this poem isn't original. It's a poem my friend wrote. I begged him to give it to me so I could use it as a prologue. The prologue for Gail's story "Overdrive" is also from him. Thanks James, dude! (he's sitting here beside me playing Diablo) 


	2. Solitary

Here I am, dragged in this mess. How it happened, I would never know. And I don't even care. Just as long as they leave me alone, it'll be the best thing they could ever have done in their lives. You see, I'm here in a place and time I never imagined I would be in. But why should I care? It'll be the same; people sticking their noses in other people's business. Is it so hard to do, leave me alone? They try so hard to understand me, when they shouldn't have been. No one will be able to understand how I think, how I feel, how I see the world with my eyes. And, do you know how I see the world? It's nothing but pain, suffering, corruption, evil, selfishness...death. There are two kinds of evil, you know. One, who does evil things and gets away with it, and the other, sees evil but doesn't do anything about it. As for me, I don't what kind I am. And who would care if I'm either one?

"Hey, Taylor!" One of the boys called my name. I didn't answer back. I didn't even look at him. Why should I?

"So, did'ja have a good night's sleep last night?" The guy asked, in an annoying cheerful tone. Could you just leave me alone and quit asking how I slept last night? It's none of your business.

"No." I said, wanting him to leave me alone.

"Oh. Why?" He asked. My eyes narrowed at the mere sight of him. I didn't answer back. I just ignored him and walked away. For some reason, I don't know why, that guy always talks to me. My "friends" are wise enough to leave me alone, since they know that I want to be left alone. He doesn't seem to know that. Sometimes, I caught him staring at me, his eyes looking dreamily at me. It's annoying. My pants are completely dry now. I chose to wear it, along with one of the boys' shirts that seemed too small for them and don't fit anymore. Since they said that they wouldn't wear it anymore, I ripped the sleeves high up. That way, it'll be comfortable. I can hear Dawn complaining about this. Why, does she expect brand new clothes to wear? That's why I don't like her. A superficial plastic. Cold, hard plastic, she is. Why does she have to act like that? That's not who she is. I know her real self. She just don't want to reveal her true self. That's why I don't like her. I don't understand why I became one of their friends. I don't even belong to them. It's Gail's fault why I'm one of their so-called "friends". But, in that time, I was in no position to pass up a friend. I stopped Dawn from complaining. She looked ready to put up a fight. Well, what's she going to do about? Walk on the street naked? I'm getting annoyed at her now. Finally, she was forced to give in and wear those clothes. She scowled at me and raised her left eyebrow. She's really annoying. We left the Lodging House and we went on our way to this...distributing place, or whatever. We passed by nuns who were giving out food for street children. We did what the boys did and lined up for ours. I can see Dawn's stupid expression that she doesn't want to eat any of the food they're giving. Well, who cares? Let her starve to death. See if I care. I ate the bread along the way. It doesn't taste good, and it's hard to chew. We reached the place where they line up for their newspapers. It was a square full of people walking around. There is a statue of a man sitting on a chair in the middle of a square. It's very crowded in this place. I hate crowds. Suddenly, someone poked me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw it was that guy who kept on talking to me and won't leave me alone.

"Hey, Taylor!" He said, in a cheery voice. I glared at him.

"What do you want, Pie Eaten?" I said. I do not want to talk to this guy.

"Oh, ya gots my name wrong. It's Pie Eater. It has an 'r' in da end of 'e'." He said.

"Whatever." I said back, annoyed. What a stupid name. Pie Eater? Is that why he's so cheerful all the time? He's high on pie.

"Do you wanna know what dis place is?" No, I don't.

"It's called da Woild building. Dis heah is da distribution center where we gets our papes." And I care, why? You said what you want to say, now leave me alone.

"Are you done?" I said, in a mean way. As mean as I want to be.

"I...I t'ink so." He said, looking a bit disappointed. Then, he walked away, looking pathetic. Silence at last.

"Hey, who are those two?" I heard Gail's puny voice asking. I saw her pointing at two stupid-looking men, walking towards us.

"Well, look what we have heah! Da Delancey bruddas!" Racetrack said. He's a short Italian boy whom I've thought was only fourteen years old, the same age as Gail's. That was wrong. He's actually eighteen, older than me by a year. With that height and face, I was thinking he's lying. They ignored him and noticed us instead. One of them was looking at the twins with these stupid looks on their faces. They're irritating.

"Hey sweetcheeks! What's yer name?" he asked. Haylie backed away from him.

"Oooh, I like dat in a goil. She refuses but I know she wants me." What a dope. How thick he can be, saying that to Haylie? I heard the others sniggering. Couldn't blame them. What he said was something to laugh about. Idiot. I can see the discomfort in Haylie's face. She backed away from the freak a little more. He keeps moving closer to her.

"I could get used to this." He said.

"Let's not." Haylie tried to walk away but the prick grabbed her hand tightly. I should put a stop to this now.

"Wanna go out on a date wid me?" he said, an ugly, malicious sneer on his face.

"Hey, leave me alone!" Haylie shouted.

"Leave my sister alone, you freak!"

I saw Jack walking towards here, back from whatever place he went to. He did go off somewhere a little while ago.

"Leave her alone, Oscar."

"And what'cha gonna do 'bout it, Cowboy?"

"Yeah, what'cha gonna do 'bout it?"

Jack just stared at them. I thought that he was chickening out and going to do nothing. But, for a split second, he grabbed the fags' hats and ran around the square like a deranged maniac. The two faggots chased him down, but can't catch him. Wimps. Can't catch a single pretty boy. And two heads are better than one? I think that two empty heads are better as none. The others kept cheering him on like he was some heroic boy of some sorts. I was in no mood to be celebrating with them. In fact, I was in no mood to do anything at all. I'd rather be in a graveyard than to be here. He flashed a smile at Haylie with his gleaming white teeth. Surprising for a newsboy to have gleaming white teeth. Well, Mush has a perfectly-sculpted body for someone his age. How could such a simple newsboy have that kind of body figure is beyond me. I guess that physical appearances matter for them. And I don't care.

"You're dead, Cowboy!"

"We'll kill ya!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

The two bitches have stopped chasing Jack, the pretty boy. Good, at least it's finished.

"You look a tad flushed, boys! Why not stop to catch yer breath?" Racetrack mocked them.

"Shut up, you!" Oscar bellowed.

And Gail just couldn't resist the temptation to laugh.

"Ah ha ha ha! Losers!"

The boys lined up for their newspapers in a counter with metal bars. A wooden board was covering up the window behind it. It lifted, and a fat, obese old fart showed up behind it. With all the metal bars obstructing the counter, I'd say he looks like he was jailed for eating illegally.

"Whaddaya want?!?"

"Our papes, Weasel." Jack said.

"How long do I have to suffer being called 'Weasel'?" He said, looking at Jack through the metal bars. Weasel? Aren't weasels supposed to be long and skinny? Is he supposed to be an overfed weasel? How stupid.

"Try forever, _Weasel_!" Jack teased. The boys laughed.

"Arrgh! It's Mr. Weasel to you!" The idiot called himself _Weasel_. This made the boys laugh obnoxiously harder. Gail was also letting a large guffaw pass from her mouth. Annoying.

"I meant 'Weisel', you idiots! Get your lousy papes, Cowboy and go away!" He shouted at Jack, who slapped a coin on the counter and took his newspapers, walking away with a sneer on his face. Next on the line is the small, 'eighteen-year old' Racetrack. All of them bought their papers. We were about to walk away when then Weasel called us back.

"Hey, hey! Girls! You're not going to buy papes?" No. Do we look like we want to?

"Umm, no, Mr.Weasel, oops, I mean, Mr. Weisel, we're not." Hallie said.

"Why not? Aren't you with these boys?" Weasel asked.

"Yes, we are. But we're not really newsgirls." Hallie replied. I'm getting bored at this.

"Nonsense! Come here, buy your papes!" He told us to buy his papers. Why? What the hell for? I don't want to sell papers.

"Newsgirls? I don't want to be a newsgirl! Like, no way losers! I am Dawn Madison! I DO NOT DO CHILD LABOR! I think I'm gonna have a B.F.!"

Dawn's going to attempt to have a bitch fit. Sure, this is the only time we have agreed, but she got on my nerves again.

"You wanna have a B.F.? May I suggest H.F.?" I said, cracking my knuckles nastily. How about a large, supersize serving of 'hurtfest'? I assure you 100 percent of pure pain rolled up on knuckles and a big, juicy kick on your face to go with it. She finally shut her ass-mouth and lined up with us.

"How many?" Weasel asked. Hallie's on the front and looked confused.

"I...ah...eh...I don't know."

"I'll take care of it." Jack said, walking on the front of the counter, taking a coin from his pocket and placed it on the counter.

"100 papes, Weasel."

One hundred newspapers. Divided into five, it makes twenty for each of us. I took my papers from him and he instructed us on how to sell them. Hallie looked appalled on what she heard. Lying to people by using fake headlines, huh? How it goes, I don't care.

I walked around the square, selling my papers to people. The headlines I've made up are "Man Kills Himself By Jumping Off A Building", Man Arrested For Gruesome Murder Of His Family", and whatsoever. They looked like they believed it. The truth is that I made it all up. I didn't even read the papers, never took a glance at each of the pages. I kept on selling them but there's still a lot left. I can't think of anything else to shout about. Haylie didn't do so well; She isn't good at making up lies. Hallie used both real and made-up headlines to sell. Gail charmed her way to customers and sold each one. And Dawn? She only sold the papers to men. How? "If you buy a paper from me, you'll get a kiss!" Ugh, how sickening. Men are such animals. They all bought papers from her. The stupidity of the human male is greatly disturbing. Pie Eater saw me on my spot. He walked towards me and offered to help.

"Want me ta help ya sell?"

"No."

"Okay!"

He called on to people and persuaded them to buy their newspapers from me. Strangely, it seemed to work. They bought their papers from me. There was still quite many of it, and it was gone, just like that. I saw him smile at me. He seemed satisfied in helping me out. Usually, I wouldn't have accepted his offer. But, he still pushed himself to help me. And, do you know what I did next? No, I didn't ignore him or scowl at him. I smiled back. He was the first person to treat me with kindness, and it's the first time I've ever felt it in my life. For the first time, I smiled back. And that wasn't what I expected.


	3. Hypocrisy

Well, I won't be doing that again, either. That lip-curving syndrome they call 'smiling'. What a load of shit. It's lunch time now, so we went to this restaurant called Tibby's. I used my earnings to buy my lunch. How surprising that he prices here are quite low. But who frickin' cares? I ordered just one hotdog (Gail ordered ten & shoved one on her puny mouth. She choked on it. How horrendously foolish.) & a glass of cola. That's it. The others ordered coffee. Coffee? Lunch? Are you stupid? Well, I finished my meal as soon as I can so I can leave. The other girls aren't finished yet, & I was about to leave when one of those newsies asked a question.

"Well now, can we know 'bout you goils, then?"

"What?"

"You. All five of you. Where did'ja come from?"

Why do you care? You have no business to know where we came from. I sat back down on my chair. Something tells me to watch this. The one who asked the question was that guy with the pastry name. I really don't understand why would someone name himself after a pastry? And why should care in the first place?

"I…w-well…w-w-we…um…" Hallie stuttered. Then, she gave eye contact to Haylie. That kind of eye contact twins give each other. Jeez, why couldn't they just tell the frickin' truth?

"Actually, we came from jolly old England." Hallie said, in a British accent. Fronting, one of the things I hate the most. I have an example of who does that. Dawn Madison.

"Oh yes, we perfectly have." Haylie said, in that same fake accent. Whatever.

"But, you had American accents before." Said Mush, that muscled fifteen-year old boy. He's really weirding me out. I hate muscles. Men who work out just do that to make themselves look good in front of everybody's eyes. I hate that. Why can't they just be natural? Again, I have an example of who has that trait. Dawn Madison.

"Oh, we have learned how to use an American accent perfectly, you know." Haylie said, looking like she was enjoying herself.

"It is very convincing, isn't it?" Hallie said, taking a sip of coffee in a very British, faggotty kind of way.

"Veeeeerrrryyyy convincing." Jack said. I sensed a tone of sarcasm there. I think he doesn't believe in any of this pretending that they're doing. After all, he is a con artist & a liar. I can see through him, too. He hides a lot of things that he conceals inside, covering it with lies. Hah, everyone's like that these days. Hypocrites. And I won't deny it either. I'm one of those lying bastards. And who the fuck cares anyway? Got a problem with that? I noticed that Gail is very quiet. I got a bit startled since in times like these, she would be the noisiest in the crowd. I turned my eyes on her & saw her just sitting there. I noticed that she's holding something in her hand & completely absorbed in it, concentrating hard on it. Oh, no doubt about it. It's her…

"Well, how do ya explain da weird clothes you were wearing?"

"Those are costumes we've tried out."

"Aren't they absolutely gorgeous?"

No wonder she has been so quiet lately. This is getting boring. I want to get out of here.

"Well, there you have it. That is our story." The twins took a sip from their cups, with pinkies raised. How lame. I hate the British.

"Hey, Gail. What's that?" The boy with the impish face & a crutch asked her. What's his name? It has something to do with that…oh yes, Crutchy. Of all the boys, he's the one I actually like. He's very nice to everyone, including me. Well, I don't have the habit of returning the favor, though. Maybe if I feel like it.

"Okay, now, how do ya explain dat?"

Cover blown. The newsies just discovered the little gadget called Game Boy Advance.

"Umm, uh…did-did I just do something wrong?" Gail asked, her eyes blinking innocently. The twins & Dawn nodded, with facial expressions that are to be laughed at.

"What?!?"

Haha, how entertaining this is. That's what you get from not being yourselves. They kept trying to convince the newsies that the gadget was just a piece of garbage Gail picked up somewhere. What a pathetic excuse. Who the hell would believe that? Who would throw a Game Boy Advance out in a garbage dump in a place & time like this? That is the stupidest lie I have ever heard. The newsies are completely fascinated with the piece of junk & kept examining it. They look like idiots.

"But I said I'm sorry!" Gail said, in her high-pitched, ear-piercing voice.

"That's not enough! How are we supposed to explain that, huh? Now, we have to tell them the whole truth!" Dawn said, her voice shaking with anger. What's the problem with that? You're the only one with the problem.

"But what's the deal with that? It's not important if we came from a different time, is it?!?" Gail said in defense of herself. I can't keep hearing this. I better go up to the rooftop & take my solitary time.

* * *

"Aha…came from…came from da fut'cha…ahahah…"

"Dat's a good one! I…I can't breathe…ahahahaha….Da fut'cha!"

What the hell's going on down there? I went downstairs & found myself in a room full of psychotic, mentally retarded freaks rolling on the floor, clutching their stomachs. Their laughter is highly annoying. I asked Hallie why they were acting like animals & she said,

"Well, we told them the truth. But they just laughed at us. If they don't wanna believe us, then fine!"

I know how to take care of a situation like this. I grabbed a wooden chair from Hallie's side, put it in front of me & destroyed it by punching it with my fist. Pieces of wood flew everywhere, narrowly missing Jack's face by an inch.

"Are you just going to keep laughing or are you ready to listen? Because, you know, I feel a hurtfest coming on. I assure you, you don't want one!"

I felt a throbbing uneasy feeling that they call 'pain' enveloping my whole fist. But I chose to ignore it. I don't have any space in my whole humanity to feel anything. I chose to be like this because I wanted to. Don't ask why. It's none of your business.

"Well, uh…that was…uh, weird. So, I think you're now ready to listen." Hallie said, her voice quivering. I sat on a bunkbed, looking at each newsie one by one. My eyes stopped on Pie Eater, who looks like he wants to cry or whatever. He is looking at me with his big brown eyes. I don't know but there's something in that stare that calmed me down a bit. I surprised myself there. Usually, I would still be in a foul mood after that, but now…after taking the eye contact from him…never mind.

"So, you goils are really tellin' us da truth?" Mush said, a look of innocence on his face. You know, he may have a large body, but him, being gullible doesn't suit him.

"Uh, yeah. So, do you guys believe us now?" Hallie said, a look of fresh new hope spread out on her face.

"Yes!" The newsies said altogether. Hah, they probably just believed us because I scared the manhood out of them. Wimps. They kept asking questions about our own world. They kept doing it, looks of pure innocence on their faces. They're acting like little kindergarten children. Annoying. I'm surprised that they still haven't ran around & slap each other. And here comes Pie Eater. Damn, I'd rather get out of here than to talk to him. Well, that's a good idea.


	4. Affliction

I went out of the Lodging House as fast as I can. I don't want to get caught up in this whole stupid thing. Well, I already am, aren't I? All I can do now is lessen the effect. I took a walk around this place. It's the Lower East Side. This is New York. As if _our _New York is any different. The only difference is the time and the technological advancement. And who the hell cares about that?

I kept on walking around. I have no direction on where I am going. New York is a large city and I have all the time I need to be alone. I passed by a group of drunken men. They were laughing obnoxiously and really drunk to their asses. Annoying. I better scram before they get on my nerves.

A few moments later, I ended up on a dark alleyway. I was feeling tired at the moment, so I decided to take a little rest. I sat on a wooden barrel and closed my eyes. I am not sleeping. I'm just resting my eyes.

"Father…"

Fragments and shards of random images flashed before me. I can barely make out whose face was it lying on the ground. His face was covered in blood, but the peculiar thing is, he has a peaceful smile on his face. I looked even further. He has a deep wound in his torso. I looked at it carefully. No, it is impossible for him to live. He has lost a lot of blood and the wound is really deep; I can almost see his insides. His torso is severed with, I think, a long sword. The blurry fragments became clearer to me. I looked on his face. It's…no, it can't be! Who did this?

Another fragment appeared. It was a man with a cold and cruel grin on his face, his slit-like eyes flickered demonically.

"Hello, Anika."

"Aaahhhh!"

I woke up with my face covered with cold sweat. It seems that I have fallen asleep here. My hands are numb with coldness and I am shaking from head to toe. What was that nightmare? I jumped off the wooden barrel. Barely thinking, I walked away from the alleyway. I thought of the Lodging House and decided to go back. Just then, I felt a hard grip on my shoulder.

"Hey, little goil? Where're ya goin'?"

A man's voice spoke from behind. I turned around and saw that it was a drunk bastard, fat, unshaven, and strongly smells of old and moldy socks. Am I supposed to be intimidated?

"What the fuck do you want?" I retorted.

"Oooh, feisty! I like dat!"

He tried to grope my chest. But lethargic as he was, he was slow. I had an ample amount of time to stop him from reaching towards me.

"AAARRRGGHHH!"

I grabbed his arm and snapped his wrist. I could hear the cracking of his bones in his wrist. Then, I grabbed him by the shirt collar, kicked off the ground to catapult myself in the air, my hands not letting go of his shirt collar, then, with great strength, I slammed him into the ground nearly headfirst. Lovely, if you have the liberty of seeing it with your own eyes.

"I should have warned you. But I didn't feel like it."

He was down. I turned around and walked away. Then, I looked back at him. I can see him squirm in pain, clutching his broken wrist. He turned his bloodshot eyes at me and lunged forward.

"WHORE! YER GONNA PAY FER DAT!"

I sprang away from him jump-turned in mid-air. I landed behind him, and before he could have the chance to turn around, I delivered a flurry of punches and kicks, hitting him in the nape, his massive back and his head. I launched a final spinning kick and he fell hard on his face.

"Drunkard fool."

I spat on his pathetic image on the ground, ruthless, cold-blooded and feeling no guilt on what I just did. He deserved the punishment. I walked away, a wicked sneer appeared on my lips. Gratifying and pleasurable, this feeling is, being able to beat up a foolish drunkard freak. Biggest mistake he ever did in my life, attempting a stupid thing like rape. Well, no one will be ever to do that to me. Before they can ever lay their filthy hands on me, they'll soon realize that their bones are dislocated. Sometimes, I think to myself…how did I become like this? Why am so I cold and heartless? Why can't I feel compassion for other people? Well, I do not care about it. I'll never find the answers anyway. After all, the people around me always forget about my own existence.

"Oh my God! Please, someone help!"

I can hear someone's screams for help. Whoever it is, he must have found the bloody asshole lying unconsciously on the ground. I better get out of here before I get caught…


End file.
